Lesbian Gamers Xmas List 2007

HOME PAGE

Alright ladies, it's almost that time of year, when a fat bearded man in a red and white suit will enter your home completely unnanounced at lord knows what hour, eat your food, raid your liquor cabinet, mess with your home decor and place boxes of lord knows what all over your floor! All whilst his pets pee and crap on your roof! Yes, it's Christmas season, holiday season, whatever you like to call it. It's the season that people who don't even believe in Christ celebrate his name, decorate trees in their living spaces and gamers hope and pray someone on high was listening to them when they slipped "I don't need any more clothes this year just games" into the conversation. We're going to take a peek at what lesbian gamers should have on their Christmas lists this year, so come with us, take a peek, add your own gift ideas as we bring you The Lesbian Gamer Xmas List 2007.

Guitar Hero (any incarnation) Ok rock bitches, it's time to get down with your bad ass selves, plug in your miniature guitar and make total tits of yourselves in front of friends and family. There is nothing quite like hearing perfect notes exit the speakers as you strum a bit of plastic... why it's like you're really playing!! You convince yourself you would actually be pretty much as good as Clapton, because there's not THAT much difference between pressing colored plastic buttons in quick succession and holding tiny wires flat against a piece of heavy wood. You're a rock Goddess and Guitar Hero titles just let you get in touch with that side of yourself. A definite addition to your Xmas List, now if only it had some Ani on it! Rockband Holy Frak!! there's a drum?!?! Wait.. there's a DRUM?? Lesbian + Drum = Hot Lesbian Drummer!! Huzzah! Why this is even better than Guitar Hero, this means I can switch it up, I can be the cool sassy guitarist.. like Michael Steele in the Bangles.. I'll even wear a cool hat... OR I can be the hot funky drummer, setting the beat for all.. the one everyone knows the girls want to sleep with!! Actually I'd be more likely to be the kind of dorky but cute (hey isn't she in our forums!?) girl drummer, like Caroline Corr of the Corrs... or maybe if I were feeling a little more mad I'd be Kate Schellenbach from Luscious Jackson. Yeah baby!! We lesbian gamers need Rockband this holiday season, shame it's only out in the States. Tabula Rasa No not the Buffy episode... no.. not the LOST episode... no no not the Stargate Atlantis episode or Law & Order episode ... wow a lot of shows like using the 'Blank Slate' title don't they. Tabula Rasa is an MMORPG for PC that encompasses loads of the usual MMORPG stuff and you can make up wicked female characters! Quite a few of the ladies over at trusted site ThumbBandits play this and their characters kicks some. Actually looking at screens of this it seems to be quite similar to Mass Effect (minus the huge amount of story dialogue), might be one for PC gamers missing the Mass Effect lady love. Heavenly Sword Got a PS3? Got Heavenly Sword? What's that? No? Naughty naughty grrl! Sure she's a victim of the slutty wardrobe department, but look past this slight annoyance this once and here you will find one of the coolest female characters to ever grace a console 'Nariko'. Lesbian gamers are all different and we don't meant to clump you together, this is just for the sake of this article, but chances are you will fall in love with Nariko and Kai, the two female protagonists of Heavenly Sword on the PS3. Yes I did say TWO female protagonists. So what are you waiting for, add it to your Xmas list and hope Santa brings you a little redheaded girl on girl love this holiday season. Mass Effect Hold up, what the hell is this? This is a sci-fi RPG from BioWare and it's full to brimming with female characters.. but not just the usual female characters developers throw in for titilation or narration, these characters kick ass! Wait, I can play a Commander.. a female Commander of a starship and I don't look like Barbarella or Space Barbie?? When did this happen? When did developers start to get mature?? Yes ladies, if you have an Xbox 360, put Mass Effect on your Xmas list. If you don't have a 360, best put that on your list as well then eh? Tomb Raider Anniversary Lady Lara Croft, dribble receptical of young boys everywhere and icon to some lesbians, and here she is back to her old tricks. If you loved those first few Tomb Raider titles, before they started to go downhill, you're going to love Tomb Raider Anniversary. So if you haven't got it ladies, add it to your Xmas lists! Yes yes we know, Lara is both the love and the bane of dykes.. she encomapsses every male gaze quote academia can hurl at her, she encompasses a hyper-sexualised and unobtainable representation of women blah blah blah, yes we've read the papers, but you know what frak it, she kicks ass and was one of the first female gaming characters to do so and to top it off she's not draped over some guy throughout. Cooking Mama 2: Dinner With Friends On the offchance you missed our previous coverage of this title, be sure and check out our Cooking Mama 2: Dinner With Dykes news as it covers pretty much our reasoning behind including this title in our Lesbian Gamers Xmas List 2007. The strange thing about cooking Mama is that whilst being a cooking game, which by definition would seem to pander to the perpetuated ideology that female gamers will be somehow biologically likely to enjoy this game. That's utter bollocks of course, the reason we like Cooking Mama is because it's fun, that, for those that missed it is the same reason the guys like it. So it's here, right or wrong on our lesbian gamers xmas list... like it or lump it. Anyway we wanted to include at least one DS title. Kitty Luv - Wii Ok so this title isn't out on the Wii until early January, so it's really a late Xmas list add-on. In fact, we think this will probably be pretty rubbish, so do a little synonym work with the title and you'll come ... to the realisation we added this as a wee joke, because we're in one of those mind in the gutter moods today. Well come on now, every lesbian loves her kitty.. right. Anyway.. it wasn't a difficult place to get to, here's a bit of info about the game 'Kitty Luv kittens are just like real ones, you have to keep their box clean and play with them! You have to practice, play and feed your kitty as that's whats fun'. We hope you've liked this little look at what lesbian gamers should have on there Santa lists this year when it comes to gaming. Feel free to add other suggestions and why in the comments.

Comments

[kerrigan]

I love the Tabula Rasa episode of Buffy...

[margali]

I was a beta tester for Tabula Rasa, although I haven't played it since it's gone gold. My experience with it was that it was fun for a while if you like run'n & gun'n, but it was kind of lacking on most of the features you expect in an MMO. I'll give it time for them to flesh it out post launch, then try it again.

Meanwhile: The only thing on my holiday wish list is the SG-1 complete series DVD set. (Oh please! Oh please! Oh please!!!)

[Sierra]

Well, as long as Kitty Luv has DX 10 graphics, I'm totally in!

Mmm, kitties...

[Lottie]

Is Heavenly Sword really worth getting? I heard it was awful short and had a rubbish ending?

Haven't been able to get Rock Band yet but it's on my Xmas list for sure.

[Lesbolicious]

@ Lottie

Heavenly Sword is well worth getting, the characters are amazing. It was very short, but then no shorter than say Halo 3.

[Aska]

The ending of Heavenly Sword is very good IMHO, even though it's true that the game is short.

I am amazed by the amount of lesbian (yuri) titles for PS2 out there - pre-teenage RPG g/g love such as Strawberry Panic.

[Artemis]

I beta tested "Tabula Rasa" as well and it's not that great. I got bored with it long before the beta was over and haven't looked back since. Not worth it I must say.

[jade]

What abourt a Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles game?With a Lena Headey look alike.Mmmmm.....Will prob forget to play ...